Eragon 1-2: Descriptive Descriptions

When I began this blog, I knew right away that I wanted to re-read Eragon for it, mostly to see if the book I loved as a teenager was as bad as everyone said it was. I did have one pretty big hang-up about getting it started: the length. Almost 500 pages long, reading a book this size was no mean feat for a fourteen-year-old, and might prove to be even more of a challenge for an adult with a full-time job who spends most of her weekends either traveling or working. Sometimes both. And this book gets pretty heavy as a carry-on. Plus, the table of contents alone is 3 pages long. That's a lot of chapters to review.

Flipping through the book, I realized that the chapters don't have even lengths. The first chapter is about 2.5 pages long, as is the second. They're fairly quick reads, and though I expect some big, fat chapters later on in the book, right now it doesn't seem like such an intimidating project. But I do have a good backlog of posts, so...let's give it a shot.

Chapter one introduces us to the titular protagonist, Eragon. We learn that he's just a teenager (because of course he is), who's a skilled hunter and tracker. The prose isn't bad, but there's just something about it that feels lacking. It seems like Paolini was reaching for flowery language, but prose that is still easy to understand.

What doesn't feel lacking is just over-the-top. Three paragraphs in, and I'm already scoffing over Eragon's description:

"Eragon was fifteen, less than a year from manhood. Dark eyebrows rested above his intense brown eyes."

It's the "intense brown eyes" that gets me. That's the kind of phrase I would have used in fanfiction when describing a character. It's a description that just doesn't make sense to me. When someone has "intense" eyes, I can only picture a person whose eyes are unearthly--in that they're glowing, or can hypnotize you with a stare. For me, it's just too vague to actually mean anything.

However, his ridiculous eyes do lead him to a blue stone, the same one that the elf was carrying in the prologue. I think that there's supposed to be suspense here, but anyone who read the inside flap of the book can tell you right away it's got something to do with the blue dragon on the cover. However, it does lead us to the first sentence that made me laugh out loud in this book.

"The stone was cool and frictionless under his fingers, like hardened silk."

It's another case of trying to using flowery language, except it backfired hilariously. I know that he's trying to say that the stone is really smooth, but "frictionless"?

If it were truly frictionless, Eragon wouldn't be able to hold it. It would be sliding out of his hands, slipping through the forest, and no one would ever be able to catch it. The mental image of that--a huge blue stone, forever moving across the world--is funnier than it should be to me. Maybe because right now I'm wishing that's what would really happen.

...maybe that'd be a better way of keeping the stone safe, rather than teleporting it somewhere where it might never get found, or worse, fall into the wrong hands?

And that about does it for the first chapter. Like I said, it was pretty short. Moving on to the next...

The first two pages of this chapter are nothing but description. It's not bad, and it wasn't even that boring. We're also introduced to Sloan, the butcher. I never liked Sloan; as a kid it was because he's a dick. Now, it's because he's a dick to just the main character. He hates Eragon, and the reason that's given is because Eragon isn't afraid to venture into the mountain range where Sloan's wife was killed.

I read the first two books completely, and almost finished the third one in this series. Some major shit happens to Sloan, and I think it's meant to be his comeuppance for being an asshole to Eragon. It's a pretty disproportionate punishment for just being a jerk. Even Eragon, who's supposed to be our hero, punishes Sloan right after saving him.

I guess I should just be focusing on this book, and this chapter, but Sloan's treatment gets taken too far.

We also see the farm that Eragon lives on, with his uncle and cousin.

Okay, I'll accept dragons and magic and elves. I cannot accept that a farm has only three people living and working on it. If they can't afford farmhands, shouldn't Uncle Garrow have, like, eight kids? A farm is freaking hard to run, especially when you only have three people working on it, and one of them seems to be hunting in the woods more often than not, if Sloan's dialogue is any indication.

Also, this is our first description of Garrow:

"His worn clothes hung on him like rags on a stick frame. A lean, hungry face with intense eyes gazed out from under graying hair."

SO INTENSE. What does that even mean? 

Eragon, Prologue: A Scent That Would Change the World

Hoo, boy.

When I started this blog, I knew right away that one of the books I wanted to read for it was Eragon. I loved this book when I was fourteen, but I'm aware of all the terrible reviews it's gotten. The main character has been called a sociopath, the overall story is said to be Star Wars with dragons, the writing's been called proof that Paolini has access to a thesaurus. Now, it's time for me to go back and see if any of that is true.

But before we go any further, let's get the Star Wars thing out of the way right now. The first Star Wars movie (A New Hope)  follows a classic monomyth structure. This is where a lot of familiar storytelling devices come from: the call to adventure, the wise old man, the first failure. The protagonist succeeds and fails, and finally wins the day and learns a lesson.

Eragon, inasmuch as I remember, follows the same monomyth structure. It's not necessarily that it's a rip-off of Star Wars, but that it follows the same story structure that has existed...probably for as long as stories have. Can you really blame a fifteen-year-old novelist, in his first book, for using a tried and true formula?

Well, yes, I suppose you could.

Enough of that, let's jump right in!

"Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world."

Oh my God.

That's the first line of this series.

That's the first line.

If I spotted this in a bookstore today, picked it up, and read the first sentence, I would have slammed it shut so fast. I have a terrible feeling that the awful, corny sentence I just read is going to set the tone for the rest of this book.

But I loved this book as a kid. And it was really popular! There's gotta be a reason why so many people enjoyed it! It can't be all bad, right?

...Right?

The prologue follows a "raven-haired" (groan) woman who is clearly on a mission, but we don't know what that mission is. The first time I read this book, I was totally confused, and had no idea what was happening. Because I was an idiot, I took that as a good thing.

My reasoning was this:

1. The Similarillion is a great book.
2. I had no goddamn clue was was going on in The Silmarillion.
3. Therefore, if I didn't understand what was happening in the long fantasy novel, and it had a lot of made-up words, it was good.

Now I know the opposite to be true. Confusing your audience is a good way to lose them pretty quickly. Case in point: I never actually read past the first chapter of The Silmaraillion.

Paolini tells us about a "Shade" and "Urgals" chasing our dark-haired beauty, without really explaining what they are. We can figure out that Urgals are just another flavor of orc, and a Shade is some kind of magician, presumably an evil one. I guess I can see why you'd want to use different terms than the norm when writing a book like this, but a rose by any other name still smells.

Anyway, the beautiful woman gets captured, but teleports a blue stone far away from her location. The hero will eventually save her and--

They were right. They were right all along. This is just Star Wars.

No...I have to hold out hope. I have to believe that this isn't just a a rip-off of a better, more beloved franchise. It's just the monomyth structure! It's just the monomyth structure!

Maybe if I say it enough, I'll convince myself that it's true.

It's just the monomyth structure, it's just the monomyth structure, it's just the monomyth structure...

The Magician's Newphew, Chapter 1: Growing Up is Hard To Do

I've always loved fantasy stories, and I think one of the most influential ones in my life has been The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis. All told, I would read the first four (in chronological order) of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; The Horse and His Boy; Prince Caspian. I never quite made it to the three final books, though I owned them all. If anyone ever asked me which book was my favorite (and no one ever did), I would have told them The Magician's Nephew. It was the first in the Narnia series that I ever read, and it opened up a world of magic to me.

When I was in grade school, my Aunt Linda was sick with ovarian cancer. I spent many weekends traveling to hospitals two or three hours away from home to see her. It was a hard time for me, and I think one of the reasons I really fell in love with fantasy books was because I needed some magic in my life.

Right from the first few pages of this book, though, I realized that it wasn't just a need to escape that compelled me to read -- and love -- this book as a child. When the main character, Digory, meets his friend Polly for the first time, she can see that he's been crying. He explains:

"'And so would you [. . .] if your father was away in India--and you had to come and live with an Aunt and an Uncle who's mad (who would like that?)--and if the reason was that they were looking after your Mother--and if your Mother was ill and going to--going to--die.'"

Well, shit. Already something I could relate to, and we're only on page six.

I also forgot how quickly children's books start. Digory and Polly meet, they're friends, they go explore houses. There's not much build-up before they reach Uncle Andrew's study and begin their real adventure.

Now, there's plenty of criticism about C.S. Lewis, but there is at least one thing he does right: captures the enchantment of childhood. Polly has a secret "cave" in the attic of her house, and it's a place that I would have loved to have as a child. Re-reading this, I still wish I had a place like this.

"Polly had used the bit of the tunnel just beside the cistern as a smugglers' cave. She had brought up bits of old packing cases and the seats of broken kitchen chairs, and things of that sort, and spread them across from rafter to rafter so as to make a bit of floor. Here she kept a cash-box containing various treasures, and a story she was writing and usually a few apples. She had often drunk a quiet bottle of ginger-beer in there: the old bottles made it look more like a smugglers' cave."

A cozy hideaway, a space just for you to be alone in. And there's something about making this in her attic that makes it truly child-like. Perhaps because even if I had a hide-out like that as a kid, I wouldn't be able to fit into it as an adult. If I did, and I returned to it, it would be a place full of nostalgia, certainly, but not a place of wonder as it once had been.

Childhood is a common theme throughout the Narnia series. Peter and Susan get booted out of Narnia at the end of Prince Caspian because they're too old, and the only people who can save Narnia are children. There's a little sadness when it comes to leaving your childhood behind, knowing that magic isn't really real, that you'll never find a secret world in your closet or get a letter delivered by owl. (My owl with my Hogwarts letter just got lost! I swear!) There's one passage in the first chapter that captures this exquisitely, when Digory and Polly are discussing what might be in the empty house they're trying to sneak into.

"'But I don't expect it's really empty at all,' said Digory.

'What do you expect?'

'I expect someone lives there in secret, only coming in and out at night, with a dark lantern. We shall probably discover a gang of desperate criminals and get a reward. It's all rot to say a house would be empty all those years unless there was some mystery.'

'Daddy thought it must be the drains,' said Polly.

'Pooh! Grown-ups are always thinking of uninteresting explanations,' said Digory."  

When we talk about the end of childhood, we talk about children losing their innocence, or gaining responsibilities. Maybe every so often, we should think about their imaginations, too, and keeping our own ones intact. 

We all have to grow up, but our imaginations don't have to be a casualty of adulthood.

 

The Biggest Bullshit Moments in Snow Drop, Part 1

In my introductory post about Snow Drop, I described it as one of the most misguided comic series I've ever read. I already know I won't be able to stomach re-reading the rest of the series, never mind blogging about each book. However, the fist volume only scratches the surface of all the melodrama to come. There's so much crap in these books, I've decided to highlight some of the biggest instances of bullshit in the series.

Volume 2: Ha-Da Pursuing Ko-Mo

Ha-Da attempts to date Ko-Mo, and this doesn't go very well for him. To begin with, no one - including So-Na, Hae-Gi, and Ko-Mo himself - tells Ha-Da that Ko-Mo's male. Ko-Mo isn't gay, either. Nor does he like being pursued by Ha-Da. Yet, Ko-Mo never tells Ha-Da that he's a guy. As much as Ko-Mo tells Ha-Da to leave him alone, Ha-Da never takes the hint. Now, when someone tells you to stop doing something because they don't like it, and you continue doing it, it's called harassment. Ko-Mo finally puts a fucking KNIFE up to Ha-Da's throat and mugs him to get him to back off.

He doesn't.

Volume 3: So-Na Gets Roofied

At this point, So-Na has acquired a rival, Jin Sun-Mi. Sun-Mi is in love with Hae-Gi, but he's dating So-Na. Sun-Mi decides to try to sabotage their relationship by drugging So-Na so she passes out in a storage shed at school. If that highly illegal and immoral behavior wasn't bad enough, Sun-Mi has Ha-Da go to the storage shed as well, where he sees unconscious So-Na. He figures out that she's been drugged, and that Sun-Mi was the culprit. Does he try to wake his best friend? Find help? Call the police? No. Instead, he kisses So-Na. This is meant to be romantic. Instead, the whole situation is disturbing as all hell, especially because Ha-Da knows that So-Na was kidnapped and molested when she was twelve.

What the fuck am I reading.

Moment of Redemption: Hae-Gi and So-Na's date

Nothing is completely awful, though, and Snow Drop did have times that I really did enjoy, things that made me want to keep reading, despite all the bullshit going on. Here, Hae-Gi takes So-Na out on an impromptu date. She's nervous to be alone in the dark with him at first, but comes to realize that she does trust him. They go to a park and stargaze, and So-Na lies down next to him, which is a big deal for her, even if she does panic. This scene also gives us the couple's first real kiss. It's a very tender scene, especially considering all they've been through to get to this point.

Volume 4: So-Na is Attacked and No One Believes Her

Trouble continues to brew when So-Na finds out that she finds out that she's engaged to someone she's never met, Hwi-Rim. Naturally, she objects to the prospect of arranged marriage, and especially to her fiance. It's fair to say that she didn't have the best first impression of him. Before So-Na and Hwi-Rim formally meet each other, he breaks into her room through her bedroom window, suggestion that they have a little "morning action". So-Na throws a number of items to defend herself from him, including a stool, yet he never backs off. In fact, it looks like it's a turn-on for him. By the time So-Na's bodyguards arrive on the scene, he vanishes.

Later, So-Na's father introduces her to Hwi-Rim, telling her that they are engaged now. So-Na tells everyone that he broke into her bedroom. Her bodyguards heard the commotion, and they even say there's security tapes that could prove it was Hwi-Rim. Does her ever-loving father call off the engagement? Question Hwi-Rim's character? Listen to his daughter? No. Instead he calls her a liar, and says she's panicing because she doesn't want to be married.

Also, how is Hwi-Rim staying in that tree? He has one leg supported by a branch, it looks like, but he's not holding on to anything. He's just sort of...hovering above it.

Volume 5:  A Failure to Communicate

The biggest bullshit moment is actually a little hard to find in this volume. Drama happens, of course, but nothing to the degree of the previous books in the series. In fact, So-Na and Hae-Gi come out triumphant in the face of adversity, for a change. But this is also the book where Ha-Da finds out that Ko-Mo is a man, even though they've started dating. Ko-Mo, by the way, still doesn't like Ha-Da, but is using him to get information. What bugs me about this is So-Na knew that her best friend really liked Ko-Mo, but also that Ko-Mo is a guy. How hard would it have been for So-Na to tell Ha-Da that Ko-Mo's a guy? Maybe she thought it was funny at first, but really...you dropped the ball on that one, So-Na.

But that's not so bad. After the questionable (and illegal) behavior of the characters so far, this volume was exciting and more light-hearted than the previous four. If the rest of the series were more like this, I would probably like it a lot more. But that hope spot is short-lived, however, and I remember why this series is so fucked up...

Volume 6: Hwi-Rim Attempts to Rape So-Na

I don't want to put up a picture of this. Here's a picture of my dog instead.

This scene freaked me out when I read the series, and still puts me on edge today. Maybe even moreso now. It's fucked that she's engaged to this guy, and that no one who can do anything about it will listen to So-Na. She already hated this guy, and the audience already knew that he wasn't above attacking So-Na...so why put this in? Just to show how depraved Hwi-Rim is, when we've already seen it? Hae-Gi at least beat Hwi-Rim to a pulp, but other than that, our villain doesn't suffer any consequences after that. What's even more disturbing is how So-Na, a couple books down the road, just seems to forget what Hwi-Rim tried to do to her.

Moment of Redemption: So-Na Stands Up to Her Father

Throughout the series, So-Na's father is a bully. He verbally abuses and blackmails her, and hits her more than once in the series. He refuses to listen to any of her objections about her engagement to Hwi-Rim, which was arranged to set-up more funds going to his political party. Many times, he tells So-Na that she's unable to live independently. During a party to celebrate So-Na's and Hwi-Rim's engagement, she tells him - and everyone else there - that she and Hwi-Rim will never be married. Her father says that everything she owns, even the clothes on her back, are from him, and she will never survive on her own. So-Na says, "Watch me, I don't need anything from you!" takes off her dress, and storms out of the dinner in just her underwear. Yes, it's over the top, but after all her dad's put her through, I love how she blatantly defies him.

That last book got a bit heavy. Let me end with just one embarrassing story to make things a bit more cheerful around her.

Manga Will Ruin Your Life: So-Na Gets a Job

Remember when I said I didn't want these books to find young, impressionable minds? This is the reason why. Out on her own, So-Na tries to get a job, and she only gets hired once she admits to her employer that she's only in it for the money. Her boss tells her that's the only reason why anyone works, and she should have just said that from the start. It turns out that this is actually pretty terrible advice.
 
Eventually, I turned sixteen, and went to a local grocery store for my first-ever job interview. When the woman interviewing me asked why I wanted to work there, I replied, "I want money." I thought she would appreciate my honesty. She didn't.

I didn't get the job. Thanks, Snow Drop.

Snow Drop Vol. 1, Chapter 1: Meet the (Awful) Cast

I've decided that it was only fair to go back to manga for a bit, just because I have an absolutely absurd amount of it. I'm certain that I need to get rid of almost all of it. Even if I don't intend to keep it all, it's worth one last read-through. A final goodbye, if you will. I won't subject you to any more Rave Master for the time being, so we'll take a sharp turn to Snow Drop, by Choi Kyuang-ah. This is a series I started reading when I was fourteen, and religiously bought every book until the series ended, probably when I was sixteen. And for the purists out there, Snow Drop is technically manwha, as it's a Korean comic. And it couldn't be any more different than Rave Master.

Snow Drop is a dark, dramatic teen romance about a couple that no one thinks should be together. I'd read a few manga like this in the past, but I don't think I've ever read one as misguided as Snow Drop.

I almost immediately regretted my decision to re-read this book as soon as I opened it. There are so many problems with the series, and you'd think that would be pretty easy material to make fun of. It has an astounding number of things in it that don't make any sense, like the belief that who you date in high school is who you'll end up marrying and having kids with. There's also several things that are pretty offensive but passed off as "true love"...like the female lead dating the guy who tried to rape her earlier in the series.

Holy hell, how did I manage to stomach any of this?

Unfortunately for the blog (or maybe fortunately), none of this happens in the first volume. This is our introduction to our main characters: So-Na, Ha-Da, and Hae-Gi. And I don't like any of them. I know I should, but I don't.

So-Na is our female lead,  a rich seventeen-year-old girl whose passion is her flower nursery, named Snow Drop. She's almost always accompanied by her obnoxious friend Ha-Da, another rich teenager and self-proclaimed Casanova. The manga kicks off with Ha-Da complaining that he and So-Na have been enrolled in high school, as neither of them have been in school for several years. So-Na's father basically blackmailed her into returning to school by smashing the windows of the greenhouse, and refusing to stop until she agreed to go back. It's pretty telling for a character that doesn't even appear in this volume.

My questions already begin to flare up when the two are introduced to their class for the first time. If Ha-Da and So-Na are part of such wealthy and influential families, why aren't they sent to an expensive private school? One small change would have helped us avoid a lot of needless stupidity in the series.

I also want to point out that I hate the "new kid stands in front of class and introduces her/himself" cliche. This is mainly because never once, in my life, have I ever seen a teacher call a student to the front of the class to introduce them. Especially not in high school. Has anyone else actually seen this happen? Right now, I'm pretty convinced that this exists only in fiction.

This being a romance manga, So-Na's seat in class ends up being right next to Hae-Gi's, the most popular boy in school. I would like to make a couple complaints about this.

This is what the cover promises:

This is what we get:

Okay, he's cute, but that is not the same person. And that beautiful blue-haired man was the reason I became interested in the series in the first place. Though thinking about it now, I actually didn't fangirl over any of the characters in this series. Maybe I was over squeeing over fictional characters by that point, or maybe it was because they were all in relationships and therefore untouchable. Really, though, I think it's because all the characters are dicks.

Looking through the series now, I searched for a character that I really liked, without reservation. I found one: So-Na's body guard, and I don't think he even has a name.

Even if the cast is full of jerks, though, there must have been something about it that I liked enough to buy twelve volumes of this crap, so let's read on.

The other thing that bugs me about Hae-Gi's introduction is that he's called the most popular boy in school. Maybe this is a translation error, because Hae-Gi has zero friends. By definition, you have to have friends to be popular. He's good looking, and a model, so I would accept that he's the coolest kid in school, but definitely not the most popular. One of the nameless students (read: someone who's not beautiful) even says that he's standoffish and uptight about his name.

Ha-Da hates Hae-Gi immediately, for no adequately explored reason, and asks So-Na to figure out what Hae-Gi's sore spot is. As luck would have it, So-Na is actually able to do this. Hae-Gi is short for Hae-Ba-Ra-Gi, or "sunflower". His brothers, likewise, have flowery names. Those names (along with So-Na's, short for So-Na-Moo, or "pine tree") came from a book So-Na's mother wrote, which is also entitled Snow Drop.

If you're asking where So-Na's mother is, by the way, she's dead. Like all romantic heroine's mothers.

 So-Na, it turns out, also doesn't like Hae-Gi because he's not interested in floral language, after she tries to sell him some flower.

While making his big, obnoxious introduction, Ha-Da invites all the kids in his new class for a party at a nightclub, Romeo, which he happens to own. And proceeds to insult the students that might not be able to go.

So-Na comes up with a game to ensure that everyone goes to the club, and I want to say right now that she's surprisingly manipulative. You'd think that a girl who spent the last five years with just one friend would be a little more...obtuse when it comes to that sort of thing.

The game is this: you have to find your seatmate's most precious item and take it from them for the day. The students will exchange everything back at Romeo, but if you don't show up, then you don't get your item back. Of course, So-Na ends up picking Hae-Gi's most precious item, which turns out to be a marble with a feather in it. So-Na, though, doesn't play by the rules of her own game, until Ha-Da rats her out.

You know, I sort of like Ha-Da better for doing that. I can handle annoying side-kicks; it's the manipulative main character I'm having a hard time getting past.

A flower. She tried to
insult him by calling him
a flower.

Thanks to So-Na's game, the entire class winds up at Romeo, and So-Na refuses to switch back the marble for her key until the designated swap time at 8 pm, even though Hae-Gi wants to get his marble back as soon as he can. Which is weird, because she really did not want Hae-Gi to get her key in the first place. You'd think she'd be in a hurry to get it back and not linger around Hae-Gi, especially because she doesn't like him all that much.

As she's playing with the marble she drops it and ends up losing it in the one place she can't get it back. I think I'm supposed to worry about So-Na not getting her key back, but I don't. I don't like So-Na, and she could have avoided this stupidity had she just exchanged items when Hae-Gi wanted. Maybe if she was more likable I might actually care what happens to her.

God, this is stupid. Why did I choose to read this series again?

Watch this Space!

Between applying for grad school and the holidays, this blog has had to go on a longer hiatus than I expected. The good news is that things have calmed down for now, and I've been busy reading and writing. On March 4, I'll be starting back up with Snow Drop by Choi Kyung-ah. It's a dark, romantic Korean Comic about two star-crossed lovers and the extremely poor life choices they make. 

After Snow Drop, I'll be reading The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis, the (chronologically) first book in the Chronicles of Narnia, and one of my favorites as a child. I can't wait to see how well these have aged.

Stay tuned!

The Supernaturalist, Chapters 9-10:

I've decided to combine this post to include the final chapters of this book, because Chapter 10 is about four pages long. Chapter 9, though, is another one that could have been broken up into at least two, if you ask me. It's pretty long, probably the longest in the book. And, boy, does it sting.

It's a pretty common trope for villains to stand in front of the protagonists, explain their plan, and then walk away, certain that our dashing heroes are going to die in whatever death trap that's been laid out for them. It's also widely acknowledged that this is a pretty dumb thing to do. That, and I feel like it's cheating. Suddenly the book (or movie, as the case often is) has to come to an end, and you haven't figured out a way to explain to the heroes what's really going on. Or, in this case,  you need to drop one last bombshell on the characters,  and have no way of doing it other than by some good old-fashioned monologuing.

All that said, I'm not entirely against the "now that I've captured you, let me explain my heinous plan" speech. The audience gets information, you have an "ah-ha!" moment, and then the heroes get to save the day, equipped with new knowledge. What bothers me about it here is that it's Ellie Faustino giving them the speech, though the only person who's surprised she's behind this is Stefan. Faustino is too smart and too thorough of a character to tell the Supernaturalists her plans and motives, but does anyway. She even adds a little bit of extra information, just to hurt Stefan. Then she leaves them in a vat of acid to drown. That last sentence makes sense if you're reading the book, I swear. What makes the villain monologue even worse is that she does it for the dumbest reason:

"There are two more things you should know, just to punish you for slowing down my plan."

Really? Killing him wasn't punishment enough?

Worst of all, Faustino could have had them killed then and there, but she decided "slow death by acid" was the better way to go. Even though she had a sniper, just in the other room, who could have shot them all and saved her some time and pain. Once she leaves, the group breaks out, equipped with new knowledge and...hang on a second, this sounds familiar.

Faustino confirms that the Parasites are benevolent and only feed on pain, that the "Parasite poop" mentioned earlier wasn't causing the damage to the Satellite, and that Stefan's accident that also killed his mother was set up by Faustino as an experiment. Ouch.

And I will give her credit for just one thing here: she actually didn't reveal her entire plan. Once the protagonists escape, they uncover the reason Faustino was so interested in the Parasites in the first place. She's using the ones Cosmo an Stefan knocked out at Clarissa Frayne (which didn't die after all) to power a nuclear generator.

Another difference between reading this as a kid and reading this now: relying on nuclear power doesn't seem that awful to me right now. Sure, it's not without it's own issues, like what to do with all that spent uranium, but I also don't think that using nuclear power is going to end the world as we know it. But I first read this in 2005, when "weapons of mass destruction" was a pretty common buzzword. Nuclear (or "nuke-you-lur", as was the pronunciation at the time) anything was associated with weapons and destruction in my mind back then.

I'm also not sure how it's a nuclear generator if it's powered by Parasites.

As you might have suspected, the beat Faustino, but the Supernaturalists all take a hit. Stefan gets shot by the sniper that Faustino should have used much earlier in the chapter, and ends up dying to free the Parasites trapped in the generator. Such ends our penultimate chapter.

Somehow, even as a kid, I knew that he wouldn't survive to see the end of the novel. And even as an adult, Stefan's death still makes me sad.

One thing I didn't really think about until I re-read this was the story's main character. I'd always assumed that the title referred to Cosmo. He's the first character we meet, we follow the story from his perspective, and we can see that he changes from a meek kid to a pretty gutsy one. But this isn't his story. It's Stefan's. Even at the end of the novel, Cosmo's character isn't well-defined, but Stefan's always has been. He was the leader, and he was the one that pushed his group to fight. When another twist came along - and there were plenty along the way - he was directly involved in all of them. Looking at it now, it almost feels like Cosmo is a vehicle to tell Stefan's story, rather than his own. I wonder if this was Colfer's intention, or just something that ended up happening.

The final chapter is pretty brief, more like an epilogue, if epilogues were full of nothing but sequel hooks. We learn that Faustino has survived and will carry on her work anonymously elsewhere, and also that there are other supernatural creatures that Ditto sees, a lot worse than Parasites, and that he, Mona, and Cosmo, should rebuild and do something about them.

But it's been more than ten years since this book first came out, and I have yet to see a sequel. Which is pretty damn disappointing, if you ask me, because I would buy that so fast.

Final Verdict: Keep/Give Away

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't sell this as a book. I loved it in high school and read it so many times my copy's pretty battered. Reading it again, I found it a delightful adventure, fast-paced, full of action and humor to keep the story interesting. The only reason I wouldn't keep this book is because I have a fourteen-year-old cousin who would probably love it as much as I (still) do, and I may hand it down to him. Or possibly find him a copy that isn't so beaten up.

We'll have a brief interlude for Thanksgiving/me finishing up all my grad school applications (gulp!), but will start up again soon enough with the over-the-top manhwa Snow Drop!

The Supernaturalist, Chapter 8: But Wait, There's More!

This is the one. The one we've been waiting for since Cosmo first escaped the orphanage and joined the Supernaturalists. After all the twists and turns in this adventure so far, it's all about to come to a head. The gang has located the Parasites' nest, and it just happens to be in the basement of Clarissa Frayne, the place that Cosmo spent most of his life trying to get away from. He does consider, briefly, not returning with Stefan to plant the EMP, but the thought doesn't last long. After almost floating off through space for all eternity, he's unquestionably one of the group now, no longer an outsider.

The two get inside Clarissa Frayne easily enough, and sneak down to the basement with no problem. For once, things are going their way. However, the tracking beads in Cosmo's skin haven't entirely shorted out, and his faint pattern alerts our favorite marshal, Redwood, that someone's sneaking around. Someone who's supposed to be dead, and who Redwood would love to catch. After the crash in the first chapter, he was demoted to security guard, which sees him watching CCTV for most of the day, alongside his idiot coworker.

We don't know too much about Redwood, but we know that he's not dumb, and is pretty sadistic. We also know that he's probably married, as he mentions someone named "Agnes" a few times. Even though we don't know anything about her, it's probably a fair guess to say that he's not as cruel to his wife as he is to the orphans. Redwood's not a particularly deep character -- really, just a one-shot villain, but I've suddenly found myself more intrigued by him than ever before, and it was this line that piqued my curiosity:

"He needed to get back on the streets, where he had some real power."

 By "the streets", he means becoming a floor marshal again, and dealing with the orphans directly. It's already been established that Redwood doesn't think of the orphans as people, which isn't all that surprising. My question is just why Redwood is so sadistic. I figure that he's a monster to the orphans because they can't fight back, at least, not without serious repercussions. He's cowardly in that regard, no matter how tough and frightening he thinks he is. I just want to know why he's wired this way, we he won't pick on someone his own size. What does he get out of tormenting these orphans?

It's a pretty pointless question to ask, especially at this point in the book. Like I just said, Redwood is a one-shot villain, whose point in the story is to menace Cosmo. That's really all we need to know about him.

The mission is going smoothly, unlike every other mission prior, that something has to happen. From the three paragraphs I've just dedicated to Redwood, it won't be any surprise when I tell you that, yep, Redwood shows up right after Cosmo and Stefan plant the EMP. The sleeping Parasites wake up when Redwood attempts to take Cosmo hostage, and ends up painfully smacking the butt of a lightning rod into him.There are thousands of them, and Stefan is left with no choice but to detonate the EMP, knocking out all the Parasites, and Redwood, for that matter. This is such a great scene: a massive amount of Parasites just got wiped out Redwood gets his comeuppance, and the power surge shorted out the tracking beads on the orphans, so they can escape from Clarissa Frayne without being traced. Cosmo and Stefan know that the EMP works, and they can finally do some real damage.

"'Time to go,' said Cosmo. 'Now or never.'

'Now,' decided the diminutive Fence, leading the no-sponsors into the night, like a modern-day Pied Piper."

Seeing the orphans escape, an effective way to fight the Parasites, and a bully getting what's coming to him. There's still some loose ends to tie up, but finally the characters - and the reader - can breathe easy and relax. There's just one problem: that's not the end of the book. It's not even the end of the chapter.

Cosmo and Stefan aren't able to savor their hard-won victory for long. That's what kills me about this chapter. Just as soon as something goes right, and they finally getting the break they deserve, they get thrown through another loop, and then another. Three loops, in fact.

With books set in the not-too-distant future, characters usually gizmos which, at the time the book comes out, seem really cool and top of the line. However, after enough time goes by, real life technology is going to surpass whatever neat gadgets those characters have. Mona's phone is a perfect example of this:

"Mona's phone was a pretty old one, without much in the way of technology. But it did have picture capabilities. Sixty seconds of video or a hundred stills."

The Supernaturalist came out in 2004, when cell phones were becoming more widespread. Reading this when I was fifteen, I would've been over the moon to have a Trak Phone, never mind one that can take pictures and video. Now, pictures and video come standard on even the simplest cell phones, and let me tell you -- the phone I had in 2007 could take more than 60 seconds of video in one sitting. Saying that Mona's phone was cheap let Colfer get away with it for a bit longer, but not in 2015. Funny, the small things that wear on my suspense of disbelief.

Mona uses her sub-par phone to capture a video of what appears to be Ditto helping a weakened Parasite, and then all hell breaks loose. Here's Loop #1: Ditto is in league with the Parasites. Confronting him about this, Stefan suddenly falls through Loop #2: that Parasites take pain only, not life force.

This was another part where fifteen-year-old me wanted to throw the book down, because if it was true, then it was completely mind-blowing. The only reason I didn't take a couple days off the book then was because I needed to see what happened next, which takes us to Loop #3.

Instead of having the happy ending they deserve, all four of them are captured by Myishi paralegals, and Colfer delivers another throw-away line that I would read an entire book about:

"Abracadabra Street was no great challenge for a squadron that had broken into several foreign banks, two crime lords' strongholds, and a private kindergarten."

Colfer, please make your next book all about high-tech brutes breaking into a kindergarten. Why a kindergarten? These are things I need to know.

The Supernaturalist, Chapter 7: Spaaaaaaace!

I don't think there's any rules that are set in stone when it comes to dividing chapters. As far as I can tell, you should make sure that each chapter ends on a note that will make your readers want to know what happens next, and that's about it. How long or short each chapter is depends on the author and the story. I wish that Colfer had broken chapter seven up a bit more, though, because the chapter length feels uneven with the rest of the novel so far. For instance, Chapter 1 starts with Cosmo wanting to escape Clarissa Frayne, it ends with him doing just that. It's nice and contained, and propels the story forward. Chapter 7, on the other hand, begins with Stefan sulking as he and Cosmo make their way home, and ends with the Supernaturalists in space. That's a pretty big leap. There's enough room for two or three chapters here by the time this one ends.

Stefan finally tells Cosmo his story, too, and it's nothing we couldn't figure out. He and his mother were in an accident and badly injured, he watched the Parasites suck his mother's life energy away until she died. Stefan, in true Angsty Male Lead fashion, blames himself. There were plenty of hints strewn throughout the previous chapters, and his reveal really only serves to add more details to what we already knew - or, at least, assumed we knew. I like to give characters the benefit of the doubt, though, and hope that they'll surprise me. 

Though I didn't grant this to Snape after reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which resulted in me feeling stupid when I read Deathly Hallows. And I only cried a little bit!

There's also Cosmo's awkward flirting with Mona.One great thing about fiction is that it elevates us, and takes us to places we've only imagined. We can live vicariously through the characters we cheer on; their triumphs are our triumphs. Our heroes are dashing and handsome and bold, and everything we're not. Okay, saying the perfect thing at the perfect time is pretty unrealistic, and that's why characters need to have flaws. We may want to be like them, but we also have to be able to relate to them. 

Which is probably why I found Cosmo's bungled flirting with Mona so cringe-worthy when I was a teenager, and adorable now.

"'Are you coming in, or are you just going to stand there?' said Mona, without opening her eyes.

 Cosmo tried to speak. Say something clever, he ordered his brain.

It's not going to happen, replied his brain. You have enough spare cells for one word. Make it a good one. 'Coffee,' blurted Csomo. It could have been a lot worse under the circumstances."

It was so relatable to me then, because I only wished that I had the courage to talk to the guy I liked in high school. Because he was cute, and popular, and was in a band, and why would he ever want to hang out with someone like me? So, Cosmo, I applaud you, for taking a shot with a girl who you think is out of your league. However bungling a conversationalist you may be.

"Mona stretched like a cat, her wiggling toes peeking out from under the unzipped sleeping bags.

'Little piggies,' said Cosmo's mouth before he could stop it. [. . .] 

Mona stared at him. 'Have you ever had, like, a conversation with another person before?'"

The story moves on with the Supernaturalists leaving Satellite City, and we see what the world outside the city, and the Satellite's footprint - look like. Like the "One World Treaty" mentioned a few chapters ago, there are so many things that make me want to read more about the universe this novel takes place in. We're never told where, geographically, Satellite City is, but outside of it is desert. The narration implies that this wasn't here naturally, either. It was somehow man made. How? Global warming, nuclear strike, a massive build up of toxins? What turned a (presumably) habitable area into a desert? I want to know these things. Colfer, write a book explaining the basic history of The Supernaturalist universe, kplzthx.

People from the City are legitimately frightened of going to this apparent wasteland. Cosmo and Mona are curious to see what's outside of the City, but Ditto is pretty uncomfortable with the whole idea.

"Ditto shuddered. 'This place gives me the creeps. You know they don't have Satellite TV here? SOme houses only have ten or fifteen illegal stations. What do they do all day?'"

Now, this is where things start to get weird.

To find the Parasites' nest, our rag-tag heroes need to find a way to track them, and eventually decide to use the Satellite to do so. It's not something they can do on the ground, though, so they decide to go to space.

Okay, I can roll with a Satellite controlling everything in the city, invisible creatures sucking the life out of people, and rappelling lawyers. What I have a harder time getting behind is space travel. Even if technically they're actually not going very far out of the Earth's atmosphere. As a kid, I didn't like this part because I didn't think it fit in very well with the rest of the story.

As an adult, I don't like this part because none of them is qualified to go to space. A big part of my current job is running a space camp for kids, I've met (and been hugged by) a real life astronaut, and I know way more about the International Space Station than any twentysomething with a non-STEM degree should know. In other words, I'm a space nerd. Always have been. 

So, even though it's the future and a lot of technology has changed, I'm still calling shenanigans on the space adventure. 

First of all, there's the preflight check. Mona goes through a checklist to determine if the small ship they'll be using is safe to fly in. Which made perfect sense to me the first time I read this. Mechanic works on engines, therefore mechanic can figure out all engines.

I may not be handy, but I can still figure out basic car stuff: adding various fluids, changing wipers, fixing a flat. But those skills don't translate to a spaceship. If the "low air pressure" came on in my car, I know exactly what to do. If it came on in the space shuttle, I wouldn't have a clue what to do, and we would all probably die. It really bothers me that Mona, who's most likely never worked on a spacecraft of any kind, has enough mechanical expertise to do a prelaunch check on the HALO (high-altitude low-orbit spacecraft) they'll be using, instead of, say, the guy who actually owns it. I'm pretty sure engine work on cars, no matter how souped-up they may be, doesn't translate to engine work on spaceships.

Of course, with so much depending on the Satellite, there are plenty of small spacecraft traveling up to it, owned by private companies. The way it's written, it sounds like going up to the Satellite is just a regular day at the office, even if you're not one of the "disc jockeys" who are responsible to maintain it.

But the other thing that bothered me about this foray outside the atmosphere is a throwaway line about space suits. It turns out Stefan can't fit in the one usable suit on board, but Mona chimes in that space suits are one-size-fits-all.

Like Musica's magical sobriety in Rave Master 2, this one line made we want to do a table flip. Because space suits are not one size fits all, and every. individual. astronaut. gets a suit fitted personally to them. This is how space works.

I think most people would give this a bye, but I can't, and the only reason for that is because I know way too much about space travel as it works right now. There's plenty to like about this chapter, but this is one thing that I don't.

On the plus side, we see more and more of Cosmo's emerging personality. He's only been with the group for a few days, and as action-packed as they were, he's still a bit of an outsider. This is the chapter where he seals the deal, by volunteering to put on the suit that doesn't fit Stefan and going out into space to get onboard the Satellite and use a panel that will sweep the city for energy leaks. The highest concentration of those energy leaks is where the Parasites will be drawn to, therefore, their nest. When something goes wrong with the Satellite, he ends up getting launched into space, and survives only by getting incredibly lucky. If running around on rooftops and learning Stefan's story didn't make him a full-fledged member of the group, this certainly did.

Cosmo's grown from a kid with no idea about his future beyond Clarissa Frayne, and not much of a character himself, to someone pretty gutsy, and loyal to the people who took him in. So much so that he risks his life for their mission. Congratulations, Cosmo, you're finally figuring out how to be a person, just like we both wanted.

The Supernaturalist, Chapter 4: Cringe-Worthy Cosmo

It's November 2! That means NaNoWriMo is in full swing, but more importantly, so are my graduate school applications. To give myself more time to work on both those things (which are equally likely to see me curled up in a ball and crying), I'll only be updating this blog on Monday and Friday this month, for all you diehard fans out there. And by that, I mean my mom. Hi, Mom! But back to The Supernaturalist.

I love the beginning of this chapter. After a long night of blasting Parasites, the heroes return to their warehouse base to eat and rest for their next escapade. And Cosmo does something that we've all done before: 

"'I thought we did okay tonight,' he said. 'No one got hurt, and we blasted a hundred of those creatures.'"

Cosmo, it's your first night out. How do you even know what a good night is for them?

"Stefan threw down his army-issue spoon. 'And tomorrow there'll be two hundred to take their place.'

Cosmo finished his food in silence, chewing slowly. "You know what I think?"

Stefan leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.  'No, Cosmo--what do you think?'"

Cosmo, no. Cosmo, stop.

"'I think that if we could find out where they lived, then we could do some real damage.'

Stefan laughed sharply, rubbing his face with both hands. 'For nearly three years I've been doing this, and I never thought of that. Wow, you must be some kind of genius, Cosmo. Find out where they live. Amazing.'"

There you go, gentle readers. Your daily cringe. Something like this has happened to me more times than I can count. I think it's most likely to happen when you're the new guy, but even moreso when you're the new guy who doesn't want to be the new guy. You give a suggestion to prove that you're competent, and it's immediately rejected. It's even worse when they make you feel like an idiot.

This chapter is also the first without a lot of action in it. No rooftop falls, no sick teenagers, no Parasite blasting. I'm not complaining, though. The book's moved at a breakneck pace so far, and now the characters - and the reader - get a breather.

That doesn't mean it's not interesting. Along with seeing what Satellite City looks like during the daytime, we also learn more about Mona. It's been all but outright stated that she was in a gang, and it's confirmed when she and Cosmo go to her home turf of "Booshka", named after the slang term for car theft.

I think it's a little funny how audiences respond to scoundrels. I've always liked roguish characters. I've written plenty of stories (of varying quality) with a criminal as the star, and like to play the less than law abiding characters in roleplaying games. We cheered when the crew of Serenity stole medical supplies from a hospital in Firefly, but look at it from a different perspective: a bunch of freelancers, with a history of breaking the law, robbed a hospital. Whatever the context, however quickly the hospital could be resupplied, if someone robbed a hospital in real life, we would not be so forgiving.

That's just one of the things I love about fiction. People we would hate in real life become the ones we cheer for in books and movies.

I bring this up because real life gangs are violent and frightening, and Mona's old gang, The Sweethearts, seems more along the lines of West Side Story than Songs of Anarchy. They're not about smuggling drugs or guns, they're about illegal drag racing.

Now that I'm (in theory) a grown-up with a better understanding of the world, I'd say that's not so bad. Much better than drug smuggling, at any rate. Reading this now, it seems pretty light, but this book was also written for teenagers. You can argue all day about what is and isn't appropriate for kids to be exposed to, but I'm glad that it didn't get much darker than this when it came to the gangs. They play a relatively small role in the overall novel, and a more realistic version may very well have scared the shit out of me.

Even so, I enjoyed Mona's description of the other gangs in the area.

"'Those are the Irish I's. They specialize in truckjacking from the docks across the bridge. [. . .] Those tall guys are the Zools. Body guards mostly, they all learn some kind of African martial arts. One of those guys throws something sharp at you, and it's all over.  [. . .] Those men with the piercings are the Bulldogs. They can strip a bike down in seconds. You turn away to tie your bootlace, and when you come back, your bike is just a skeleton.'"

I like the variety, but these descriptions, and other small details in the narrative, really flesh out Satellite City.

When she was a Sweetheart, Mona was the gang's mechanic. The girl mechanic trope isn't exactly an original concept at this point, but it's one I've always liked. I like being handy when I can, and it's good to know what to do when your toilet breaks and you can't call your dad for help. That said, I rarely figure out things like that without guidance, and at this point I'm much more likely to pay someone to fix things for me than do it myself. Maybe the reason I like this archetype so much is because it's what I'm not. Hell, maybe that's the reason I like criminal characters, too.

Ditto and Stefan found Mona after she'd been critically injured in a drag race. Ditto saved her, and she joined Stefan's team after they heard her babbling about blue creatures. Stefan ended up trading a Myishi Z-12, a super car of the future, for Mona's ticket out. Stefan is her sponsor, which means that she's a legal citizen and doesn't have to worry about being hauled off to an institution like Clarissa Frayne.

I keep looking for more of Cosmo's character to stand out, and it's finally starting to. At least, his timidity is showing. As he and Mona walk through Booshka to get parts for the Supernaturalist's vehicle, he shrinks, stares at the ground, trying to make himself small and invisible. Mona, on the other hand, tells him that he needs to walk tall, or the gangs will eat him alive.

C'mon, Cosmo, I know you can do better than that.

Rave Master Vol. 2, Chap. 13: It MUST be a Glass Ceiling...

This is it. We've finally come to the last chapter of the second volume of Rave Master, lucky number 13. It moves fast, and there's not a lot of plot to talk about here. The chapter begins with Musica #2 facing off against Lance.

Lance's sword is able to create illusions of beasts when he swings it. He uses the illusions to distract Musica, and then go in to attack. After his first attack, things get a little stupid.

First, Lance stops the battle because Elie's time is up. That is, the deadline for Haru to arrive with Rave is past. Wounded Musica doesn't try to stop him, other than yelling at him. Elie, doesn't move, even though she was cut loose and her legs function absolutely fine.

Seriously. She doesn't even attempt to escape. She doesn't get up, doesn't run, just sits there and screams Haru's name. I know that she's scared, and that Haru was supposed to save her, but I don't think my last word would be my rescuer's name, especially when that rescuer doesn't show up in time. My last words are much more likely to be "Fuck you!" or "This is a cool way to die!"

Fortunately, Haru comes bursting onto the scene...through the ceiling.

This is something I thought was awesome as a kid, and ridiculous as an adult. It just leaves me with so many questions:

• How did Haru get up to the roof in the first place?
• Musica already cleared the yard of guards, why didn't he just go through the front door?
• Lance essentially invited Haru to come and bring him Rave, so shouldn't the goons be expecting him and just let him through?
• How many floors does this place have?
• How thick is that roof, that a sixteen-year-old kid can break through?
• Shouldn't Haru have some kind of injury from falling through the ceiling?
• Why the ceiling?
• Should I give up trying to apply logic to this universe?

 Musica warns Haru about Lance's tactic, but Haru already knows. Musica the Blacksmith taught him secret of Lance's sword: that it can only make illusions when it does a full swing. By blocking his attack, Haru is able to prevent him from creating any distracting illusions. Just when it looks like Haru has the advantage, Lance creates another illusion, this time without swinging his sword...

And that's it. That's the end of volume 2.

Re-reading this, I remember why I loved the series when I was younger, but I also understand why my slightly older sister said that it was dumb. The Rave Master universe is a weird, goofy place, but it's also filled with villains that don't fit the light-heartedness in the background. One chapter is about saving dogs, another chapter is about a man's family getting massacred. I think the biggest problem I have is that the darker problems get solved too easily, like Musica the Blacksmith suddenly giving up alcohol after meeting Haru. This time around, I thought Haru was dumb, rather than heroic, but I think that idealism is a big part of his character. The villains weren't very interesting, and Georco was more annoying than threatening.

Even so, it was fun to read through again.

Final Verdict: For Sale

Even though I bought it more than ten years ago, the book itself is in pretty good shape. Rave Master is an entertaining series, and I'm sure some other young otaku will enjoy it.

Starting next Monday, I'll be reveiwing a high school favorite of mine: The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer. Stick around! 

Rave Master, Vol. 2, Chapter 12: Your Basic DID

Chapter 12 begins with Musica reforging the sword that once was broken, the Ten Power's sword. Here's where I start to get really incredulous. Haru has, at this point, less than two hours to save Elie; therefore, he needs his sword finished in time. Musica even tells him that in his prime, it took a day for him to make a sword. Now, I don't know much about metalwork, but I'm pretty sure it would be pretty damn hard, if not  impossible, to repair a sword in under two hours. Add on the fact that Musica's been drunk for the past 15 years, it seems to me this would be well out of the realm of possibility. But story trumps logic, and Musica is able to fix the sword in no time flat. Haru promises to destroy Lance's sword, and is off to save the girl.

Meanwhile, Elie is chained in Lance's place, and reminds me why I like her so much. Even though she's a damsel in distress and waiting for the guys to save her, she's still a fun and upbeat character. She's not panicking or crying or just saying Haru's name, like that will bring him faster. Maybe it's a bit ridiculous that she's doing this even when she's threatened with a sword, I appreciate that she brings some levity to her situation.

Musica the Gangster is waiting for Haru outside Lance's mansion, but decides to go in by himself as the clock winds down. He wastes no time in beating up the guards outside getting in. His next exchange will Elie represent a huge difference between the thirteen-year-old reading this manga and me, as an adult reading this manga.

If this was how GoT treated sexual abuse, I might actually watch it.

Maybe it's because I've finally read the first book of Game of Thrones, maybe it's because I'm more aware of sexual assault and rape now than I was, maybe it's just because I'm an adult and have learned that the world is dangerous, even moreso if you're a woman...I always get on edge when I hear about situations - fictional or not - like these.

Cute, young girl gets captured by a strong, powerful man with no morals, who has her chained up and could do anything he wanted to to her. If this were Game of Thrones, or a crime novel, maybe a TV drama with adults as a target audience, you know exactly where this is going to go.

But it doesn't. There's nothing sexual about this scene. Elie claims that Lance was trying to look down her shirt, but she says that it was a joke. I'm so glad that this scene didn't go anywhere near that. I remember that Rave Master gets dark in some places. There's death, suicide, and some reasonably adult themes in the series. But it never goes into sexual assault. There's a lot of reasons why this might be the case. It's an action manga, rather than a drama; the target audience is teenagers; it's too dark.

Whatever reasons Mashima decided not to use it, I'm glad.

I'm also glad that when I was reading this as a young adolescent, the idea that Elie might be raped never even crossed my mind.  It's a small piece of innocence, but innocence nonetheless. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I could still think like that.

Musica fights Lance's bodyguard, Bis, and there are more puns. When it becomes apparent that Musica is going to win,  Lance cuts down Bis, to prove just how evil he is. Evil, but not interesting. As Musica steps up to fight Lance, Musica the Blacksmith has just finished repairing Haru's sword. Haru learns that Musica the Blacksmith's family was murdered by Lance, and Haru vows to destroy Lance's sword, ending chapter 12.

Right now the story seems pretty generic. Girl gets kidnapped by bad guy, hero goes to save girl, bad guy has no real motivation to be so bad. It really bugs me that Lance is just evil for the sake of being evil. The best villains are the ones that do wrong for reasons they think are right. A good villain believes in something. Lance? He believes in hurting people, mainly for shits 'n' giggles. I don't know about you, but that's not a cause I can get behind.

Rave Master, Vol. 2 Chapter 10-11: In Your Eyes

Chapter 10 starts with Haru and Elie meeting up, both happy to tell the other that they've found Musica, which might have resulted in some kind of "Who's on first" comedy, if not for the fact that our heroes get interrupted by Demon Card goons. Haru, Hot-or-Not Musica and Elie start fighting with the mooks, though Elie is quickly rendered useless when her tonfa blasters stop working.

There are also puns.

I love a good pun (is that an oxymoron?), but this just made me groan, and I'm pretty sure the thirteen-year-old version of me was rolling her eyes as well. The trio seem to be in a tight spot, but are saved by a drunken Plue, stabbing his nose into their feet. Why no one thought to kick a small, uncoordinated animal is beyond me. Did their sisters also teach them you shouldn't be cruel to animals?

Once Haru, Elie, and Musica #2 are out of danger, Musica reveals that his family was killed in an accident years ago, and the blacksmith is clearly a fraud. I think this is supposed to build tension, but if you've ever watched an anime or read a manga, you already know that the two Musicas are going to be long-lost something or others, and probably have special powers because of that.

Anyway, it turns out Haru did leave the Rave stone with Musica the Blacksmith, because...

You met the guy twenty minutes ago, and he was horribly, horribly drunk. You've been attacked, and have been told that the country only gets more dangerous as you travel. WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE HIM THE RAVE STONE?!

I'll let Musica the Blacksmith sum up my thoughts on this chapter:

Moving on to chapter 11, we get our first glimpse of Lance. He wastes no time in kidnapping Elie, and this is where I realize that she'll probably be pretty useless for the rest of the series. From what I remember, another volume of Rave Master consists of almost nothing but Elie needing Haru to rescue her. I don't remember a lot of the series aside from some scenes that really stood out, but I really, really hope that she won't be the damsel in distress all time time. Lance gives Haru two hours to bring him the Rave stone, or he'll kill Elie. Because this is still early in the series, there's no real need to be original, right?

Haru goes back to Musica the Blacksmith to get his sword repaired, only to find Musica being attacked by mooks. Musica says that he's hidden the Rave somewhere they'll never find it. To me, that sounds like a secret hiding spot, maybe someplace in his disused forge, or underneath a floorboard, or maybe Musica has a secret room full of awesome swords that he's forged in the past. Or, you know, in a drawer in plain view of everyone.

The goons are cleared out with a couple punches and Haru explains the situation to Musica. Musica initially refuses to fix the Ten Powers sword, citing that he's old and washed up. That doesn't take a keen observer to see. Haru convinces Musica to forge a sword again, not by impressing upon him the need to have a weapon and save Elie's life--but because he believes in him. 

I've read a lot of manga in my time, and this is a medium that truly believes that eyes are the windows to the soul. "You still love him, I can see it in your eyes." Or, "You're strong, I see it in your eyes." Or, perhaps most shojo of all, "You've got fire in your eyes." It seems like a cool sentiment the first time you read it, but then you read it over, and over, and over again. It would seem that all you need to perform a small miracle in the face of insurmountable odds is to look deeply into someone's eyes and tell them what you see there. In this case, its "You're better than that. I can see it in your eyes."

Musica isn't so readily swayed by Haru's Peter Gabriel-esque charm, but decides to fix the sword when he learns that Haru will be fighting Lance. Lance, it turned out, killed Musica's entire family.

When I was a kid, I thought Lance was evil, evil, evil. He killed Musica's family for no reason! How much worse could you get?

And that's the problem with Lance that I see as a grown-up. He had no characteristics other than being a psychopath. He is evil for the sake of being evil. He reasons behind it, his motivations, are never further explored. The only backstory we have on this guy is that he killed Musica's family.

I'm not against fictional psychopathic characters, as long as they're interesting. There are plenty of well-written characters who are evil for shits 'n' giggles, the kind that give you chills when you think about how anyone could be that coldblooded. Not Lance. If we knew anything about him other than "I like to kill things", maybe he could have been a great villain. Instead, he just falls flat.

Rave Master Vol. 2, Chapters 7-8: My Sister Taught Me That!

Haru was mostly raised by his older sister, and he really took whatever she taught him to heart. I know this, because he's always talking about, "my sister taught me that!" I remember that he said something along those lines a lot early in the series, and I remember that it really annoyed me. Possibly because I was thirteen when I first read these books, and therefore my older sister - if you were to ask me - was an idiot. Re-reading these now, it still bugs me a little bit. Not because Haru's taking his older sister's advice, but because he mentions "my sister told me..." so often. The other reason is because everything that Haru's sister has taught him is completely obvious.

Take a drink every time Haru talks about what his sister taught him.

Really, Haru? Dogs are getting impaled on spikes and exploded, but you need your sister's advice to figure out that animal cruelty is bad?

Despite Elie's warnings, Haru interrupts the race again. This was Georco's plan all along, of course: to put Plue in the dangerous race and lure Haru out. Now, there is one thing, and one thing only I will applaud Georco on: he learned from his mistakes. Instead of fighting Haru out in the open, where another explosion could blow his gaseous form away, Georco traps him in a giant steel box with no way out - in other words, no fresh air for Haru to breathe. It kind of begs the question why Georco had a giant, ten foot tall box laying around in the first place, but I can forgive that, because the ridiculous trap was pretty effective. However, I cannot forgive Georco for constantly referring to it as the "Smoke Hiz-ouse". A part of me died every time I had to read that phrase.

 Without oxygen, Haru can't make explosions, and so it looks like he's screwed.

The day is saved by Elie, and I love that, purely because it's the girl saving the guy, and not the other way around. She uses her tonfa blasters (which are like side-arm cannons, I actually like them) to blow up the smoke house to let Haru escape. Plue manages to steal Georco's dark bring, so he can no longer turn himself into gas. Out in the open again, Haru delivers the final blow to Georco, thus finishing our first Monster of the Week.

With all the action, there wasn't a lot of plot in Chapter 7, so we'll move on to Chapter 8.

Now that Georco's been taken down, Haru and Elie take a minute to talk. Of course, this is after Elie nearly blows up half the stadium with her tonfa blasters.

That's actually good advice, Haru. Don't stick it in crazy.

It turns out the Elie knows where to find Musica, the blacksmith that can repair Haru's sword. She also reveals what little there is to reveal about her backstory: she has lost her memory. It's a tired trope at this point, but what I like about Elie is that she's not angsty about it. There's plenty of "waaah, I can't remember!" characters out there, but Elie is happy, excitable, and generally a fun character, rather than being mopey about it. She doesn't take up too much time feeling sorry for herself, which is nice to see. Yes, she would like her memory back, but she's also not going to let herself be miserable over it.

Haru and Elie decide to leave Hip Hop Town together. They say that Demon Card is out of commission, so they won't have to pay the fee to leave. But how does punching the daylights out of Georco take down an evil organization that's clearly taken over the town? I'm sure Georco has some underlings who would gladly take over his role as boss. Or maybe that's the end of dog racing in Hip Hop Town forever because Elie completely destroys the stadium. 

Seriously. She's so excited to be leaving town with Haru that she lets off another couple shots from her tonfa blaster and the stadium starts to collapse. Her reason: 

THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO EXPRESS HAPPINESS.

The duo escape the stadium by...jumping on a chariot pulled by dogs. I'm not joking. This whole series is so goofy, though, that I think I've learned just to go with it by now.

We're nearly at the end of the chapter, but there's just one more thing I want to bring up. We get a brief cutaway to some of Demon Card's generals, hanging out in the fortress Rhapsodia. 

This is when it hit me.

Rhapsodia, like "rhapsody". Song continent. Hip Hop Town and Punk Street.

THE TOWNS ARE ALL NAMED AFTER MUSIC GENRES.

Ever since I was a kid I thought that all the town names in Rave Master were really dumb. And I never once thought there was a musical motif in the names. HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THAT?

It turns out the town names aren't dumb; I am.